learn to fly

learn to fly

In the last couple weeks I’ve reconnected with a very good friend whom I haven’t seen in ten years, had visits with two very special woman who have had serious health struggles recently, and had a visit with one of my best friends who’s father passed away unexpectedly this January.

It warms my heart to see them because it makes me realize how precious our lives are, how important human connection is, and how quickly things can go wrong. But also how we begin to heal from tragedy. I’ve wrote a lot about my recovery in this blog, I’m still in recovery. I have no idea when the recovery will end. I estimate that I have no fucking clue when I’ll be out of recovery,  although as long as I’m recovering, I’m okay.

I’m learning to live with menopause since I had my ovaries and tubes removed last August. I still have to take Arimidex, a hormone suppressant, for the next 9 years.

Hormone therapy is the shits. I’d take radiation, surgery, chemo, any day over these little white pills. But, alas, my new oncologist said it’s just as important as chemo as far as extending life expectancy.

You may ask why hormone therapy is so difficult for #sexybreastcancer ladies? Well, I can’t speak for others, who say it’s physically painful i.e. sore bones, etc., for me it’s the mental side effects. Here’s a short description of the side effects of the devil drug:

Arimidex (anastrozole) is a non-steroidal aromatase inhibitor used to treat breast cancer in postmenopausal women. It is often given to women whose cancer has progressed even after taking tamoxifen (Nolvadex, Soltamox). Arimidex is available in generic form. Common side effects of Arimidex include constipation, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, upset stomach, loss of appetite, body aches and pains (back pain, bone pain, joint pain or stiffness), breast swelling/tenderness/pain, headache, dry mouth, scratchy or sore throat, increased cough, dizziness, trouble sleeping (insomnia), tiredness/weakness, flushing and sweating (hot flashes/hot flushes), vaginal bleeding, hair thinning, weight changes, depression, mood changes, problems with your fingers while gripping, or numbness, tingling, cold feeling, or weakness in your hand or wrist.

And very sadly the pubic perception of breast cancer is soooo sexy – look at those gorgeous woman wearing pink lacy bras, running with pink feather boas, getting free boob jobs and tummy tucks, living longer lives, saving second base, banding together to educate about checking your boobies!, the pink sisterhood is real folks. The struggle is real! ha.

After reading the above description of the side effects of Arimidex, it makes me think of how much I wish we’d stop glamourizing breast cancer. Those side affects are so sexy and hot, aren’t they?? I wrote about something extremely personal about my reconstruction and the importance of organ donation in the entry called ‘make you feel my love’, describing that in order to get my sexy boob job I had to have cadaver skin surgically placed to hold my sexy implant, like a pocket. Think about that. I’m not ashamed, I’m proud, and most importantly I’m grateful for the person who selflessly gave there body (just a shell) to science so that others could benefit.

Imagine if HIV/AIDS was as sexy as BC?! Imagine if HIV had no stigma attached to it? How ignorant are we that one disease over another has such a warped, varied perception.

Oh no, HIV/AIDS is a gross disease, self inflicted by reckless behaviour. Breast cancer is the sexy disease to get…didn’t you know it’s better to walk around in our society with a pink ribbon vs. a red one? so so dumb.

*************************************************

Anyway, my friends showed me the most uplifting video last night. Here’s a background description of how this video was planned and conceived:

One thousand musicians banded together in Italy to perform the Foo Fighters’ “Learn to Fly” all at once in an attempt to woo the band to come play a show for them. Let’s repeat that — 1,000 musicians. A thousand.

“The Foo Fighters are not in Romagna since 1997, it’s time to get them back, but we need a crazy idea,” the description on Rockin’ 1000’s website explains. “We have to organize something that kicks ass worldwide and can be seen by Dave Grohl: We will ask one thousand rockers to play one of their songs, all together and at the same time.”

And they did it — magnificently, after more than a year of work. “What we did here is a huge, huge miracle,” the event’s creator Fabio Zaffagnini explained. “One thousand rockers that came from all over the nation at their own expense, and they just did one song — your song. We ask you, the Foo Fighters, to come play for us.”

It’s an invitation that’s going to be pretty hard to turn down.

Now here are the lyrics to Learn to Fly..

Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me
Get things right

Hook me up a new revolution
‘Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing
And watch the last one die

I’m looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something help me burn out bright

I’m looking for a complication
Looking ’cause I’m tired of trying
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly (high)

Think I’m done nursing the patience
I can wait one night
I’d give it all away
If you give me one last try

We live happily ever trapped
If you just save my life
Run and tell the angels
That everything is all right

I’m looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something help me burn out bright

I’m looking for a complication
Looking ’cause I’m tired of trying
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly (high)
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly

Fly along with me
I can’t quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
Fly along with me
I can’t quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own

I’m looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something help me burn out bright

I’m looking for a complication
Looking ’cause I’m tired of trying
Make my way back home
When I learn to

Looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something help me burn out bright

I’m looking for a complication
Looking ’cause I’m tired of trying
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly high
Make my way back home
When I learn to fly
Make my way back home
When I learn to

This video gives me instantaneous goosebumps and gives me renewed hope for myself, our society,  and the ones learning to fly one step at a time from their dark places in life which we all have to face no matter what it is…. and also I so wish I was there, so cool…their passion is so palpable, I wish I could bottle it up….Italians are so awesome…

Dave Grohl’s response. priceless:

 

 


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