workin on whiskey
My co-worker gave me a huge compliment yesterday. The reason I take what she said as a compliment is because it’s the reason why I write this blog. I write to share with others my story of #sexybreastcancer, to help other cancer patients, caregivers, family members, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbours….etc. anyone who is suddenly struck or has in the past been confronted with this life changing event.
But I never thought about it effecting someone who lost a mother from BC. She told me her husband read some of my entries. He lost his beloved mother 10 years ago. He’s still deeply affected by this.
He said he hadn’t thought much about what she was feeling and struggling with through her disease at the time. She apparently hid her suffering. She didn’t want her children, and I would imagine, her husband knowing how bad it actually was.
The mother, the eternal protector. Always putting on a brave face.
I don’t want this blog to be sad. I don’t aim to surface emotions in people that bring back sad memories. I hadn’t thought of this possibility, but low and behold, it did.
I want to bring comfort and laughter to people. I want to evoke positive vibes. But as life teaches you…you can’t control the way people feel or how they will react to anything. Everyone is in charge of their emotions and actions..(Thanks mom and dad for this life lesson!)…So if when you read my stuff I hope even though it’s a shitty, crazy story it will bring some sort of peace and comfort knowing we understand what the people around us may feel and it’s okay to be paralyzed or feel hopelessness as things are not in our control only how we react is.
I also think it’s important to reflect on things when the time is right. It happens for a reason…our minds and bodies can only handle so much.
I know as I’ve already mentioned several times, I did everything I could do to hide what I was going through and still am from my kids. It’s what mothers do. We are the heart, the glue of the family….regardless of the teachings of mother/father equality…woman naturally take on more. Period. Of course there is always the exception to this but for the most part we are the pillars of strength.
Okay, so last night I went back to Mavericks to see the Kiefer Sutherland band. I purposely didn’t listen to his music before I went. Or google anything about the tour. I wanted to go in and see what he was all about live.
I missed the opening girl Jessica Mitchell. I caught her last song. OMG wow she is awesome. I’m an idiot – why was I late?? I love female voices. Hers blew me away. I met her later took a selfie and chatted about stuff. She is wicked cool and down to earth. I’ll post a video she posted today hearing her new song on the radio in Stratford, ON (technical note – I can’t figure out how to copy and paste it from facebook…but if you open her FB page she posted it today – its worth a watch – It’s so cute and genuine. I feel her joy). I’ll also post our selfie.
Kiefer was unbelievable. He’s super talented as well. Brilliant. Engaging. Super low key. My friend Matteo who volunteers at Mavericks helping the bands unloading their equipment met him in the late afternoon. Matteo said he went out of his way to shake his hand, tell him it was an honour to play in Ottawa and ask him his name. He happily took a picture with Matteo. So sweet. I’m starting to think that Mavericks is so chill and brings in the coolest artist. I mean it’s Mr. Lost Boy himself. This is a guy who was engaged to Julia Roberts. His father is legend. And all he cares about is playing his gig to 200 people.
I’m going to spend a lot of time watching lost boys, stand by me, flatliners, 24, on and on. And download his album…so so good.
Another comical thing that happened last night was I got into a war of words with a woman who I call Shrek….but she was no Cameron Diaz…she was an escapee from a psych ward.
I swear I did NOTHING to provoke her.
To give you some background info, us and I don’t speak for all, but we so called cancer survivors who have to slowly learn to deal with their new roller-coaster of emotions while integrating ourselves back into regular society, we are sensitive a bunch.
My emotions and senses are extremely heightened. I don’t know if it’s from PTSD, the chemo, radiation, hormone therapy, full blown menopause from having my ovaries and tubes removed. Whatever it is I’ve found a new strength. I’m a rock.
Yes I cry and have freak out sessions…but I’m mostly joyful and laugh all day long. So when Shrek started to tell me off out of the blue, my first reaction was confusion, then her words started to sink in and that was it. The mommy bear in me was unleashed.
I had politely squeezed my way to the front to get some pictures. To my right was a couple who were rocking out. The woman was in a wheelchair having a blast with her boyfriend equally enjoying the show. They didn’t seem bothered by me. Neither did anyone else around me. I know this because I made a point of looking around to see if others were hating on me like Shrek was.
Growing up I hated confrontation. I was deathly afraid of those bully girls in high school and later on in the bars. You know the ones that pick fights for no reason but to see others suffer. It obviously comes from a place of their own insecurities or hurt they’ve endured.
I wasn’t going to let this girl f*ck with me. Hello…I’ve stared death in the face, so this girl’s insults and threats only made me laugh. I did not budge. I simply and loudly told her to back off. Yup, Simone wasn’t going to back down and run away.
I said “are you crazy, you have no idea who I am” …”what is the problem?”…she replied “you better watch out bitch”….me “what??!!”….she then said the most generic 101 of bully talk which was “wanna go outside?”….me “for what?….her “so we can deal with this outside!”.
Hahahaha….me “you’ve lost your mind lady, I’m not going outside”…I continued “I paid for my ticket like everyone else, so you better check yourself and shut the f up”.
Then she did another loser bully move trying to provoke me….I’m not kidding…she came closer and elbowed me.
WTF Shrek let it go already… and enjoy the show…Kiefer is 5 feet away from us and you wanna brawl outside? There must be a full moon or something.
Anyway, who cares, I don’t but Shrek obviously did. Her friend had to calm her down. I didn’t move and ignored her the rest of the show.
Wow some people I tell ya have some serious shit to deal with and like to take out their pathetic sad lives out on other people.
I’m all about peace and love. I’ll quote the famous Rodney King “Why can’t we all just get along?”.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe I have that bitchy face that people want to tell off. Whatever it is I don’t care. I treat all people with respect. This ones on you Shrek.
I need a whiskey, Shrek needs anger management therapy, and klepto soccer mom needs money.
We all need something.