if i die young

if i die young

March 2014 I took my then 9 year old daughter to NYC for a special weekend getaway. I was in the middle of doing 6 rounds of chemotherapy (poison!). Starting to live MY life to the fullest, whatever that may be or bring.

I did this because I thought what if I die young, what if, what if, what if God dammit!!!? It’s just the way cancer patients think. End of story. Not in a flowery sweet tone I get a lot from people (and God bless them) “Oh you must have such a new perspective on life” or “you must be so grateful everyday” kind of way. For me it’s more like grab the world by the balls and LIVE. Do what YOU enjoy. Think about it and do it NOW!

*side note, I might be using more exclamation points than usual, and capitals in the entry because I’m reading Drew Barrymore’s book called Wildflower and she’s an EP & CAPITAL LOVER and offender!!!!!!

Eva and I in NYC circa March 2014 me wearing one of my #sexybreastcancer wigs…

NYC March 2014 – Central Park stroll

Now that my son is 9 years old, I decided I wanted him to experience something similar. Just because two years have gone by since I took Eva doesn’t mean the ‘what if’s?’ are gone, they have actually intensified. For example, I’ve had a sore back since I went back to work February, and so instead of going to get a message or whatever the fuck people do, I went and got a full body bone scan just to rule out reoccurrence. I’m not a hypochondriac at all, but now I don’t waste valuable time trying to fix the aches and pains, I head straight to my oncologist… get it? … it’s the ‘new normal’ for me.

Sweet baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Every time I go to NYC I leave with a new found excitement. Last May 2015 when I went with my husband and friends we arrived to our hotel on a Thursday around 5pm, and we enjoyed many different things within a 3 day crunch. awesome. great company and friends.

We did a Brooklyn food and culture tour, Book of Mormons on Broadway, EATALY, Central Park and on our last night we ate at Gotham restaurant when on the way home our unlicensed, high on crack, random driver almost killed a cyclists.

So on this trip a few things of note, and I’m listing them because it’s more optically digestible:

  • the kids playground in Central Park is filled with a bunch of trust fund babies and toddlers, and when I say trust fund I mean sick, sick, stashes of $$$$$ awaits them for the future. Their nannies seem super chill who for the most part come from the Islands man!

Central park playground aka trust fund bady oasis

  • From dusk and after sunset Pokémon Go app enthusiast (I say this as sarcastically as possible, and will post a video and pictures as evidence to this 2-3 week old phenomenon that’s going to take over the world!!!) and also injuring and potentially killing our youth because they can’t look up from the cell phones looking for these Pokemon thingies….

*2nd side note, if you’re thinking of investing aka buying some lucrative stock…look no further folks…BUY them NOW!!!! They may be expensive but I guarantee you they are going to explode!!! Here is a quote from CBC new TODAY!!!:

Wildly popular mobile game sends players into the real world to search for the mythical monsters’

I’ve seen this first hand in NYC and it doesn’t matter if people are getting hit by cars or falling into sewers…it’s the shit dude…straight up!!!!

*This is a note to my father….read following article and INVEST NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I know you were picturing a nice quite stroll through CP right now…well let me tell you something I have never experienced visiting this magical place: RATS!!!!…yup, that’s right! Not so much during the day but at night they run out from all over crossing the pedestrians’ paths. The first night we went we counted about 15 of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (tkx Drew!!!!!!)

5th avenue rat

Rodents make me nervous on a good day, rats mmmmm well, I tried to think of them as hairless squirrels, which makes it more bearable.

More CP pix with no rodents in sight…

Central Park Alice in Wonderlad.JPG

Imagine selfie

Central Park Friends fountain.JPG

My man Central park boat stroll.JPG

NYC RemCentral Park  .JPG

Ok this is getting loooong. sorry. But NYC is full of once in a lifetime experiences every time you go… I promise I’m wrapping this up if you’re still paying attention!

The first night we took a two and a half cruise called Spirit Cruise…f-ing awesome. The tickets included buffet dinner, dj, dance floor, etc. I highly recommend this cruise.

Guess what song was playing as we cruised past the SOL?!!


Yup a truly American experience!

The captain was the BOMB and asked us to go into the cabin…wow…nice staff.

God bless america

Remo cruise ship lessons over looking Brooklyn

Brooklyn bridge selfie

After the cruise I decided my calves were going to explode so we headed towards the taxi stand. On our way, this guy was blocking a giant black Suburban with tinted windows… don’t get excited…Justin B was in town performing for two nights but he wasn’t in there, no celebrity was, only the driver.

The guy was blocking him because he used to work there as a manager and he had fired him so the employee didn’t want to allow him access to the cruise party goers so he’d lose the fair. In walks Remo and I. He agreed to take us back to our hotel and on the way he told me a story about how he picked up Kim Kardashian and her fat sister a couple weeks ago from a party in Long Island and brought them back to the city.

Say WHAT?!

Get this – My #sexybreastcancer full menopausal ass sat in the same exact seat as Mrs. Kayne (Jeezus) West’s seat. fresh ass prints from the almighty KK.

Ok I can go home now.

Of course I hammered him with questions,  in which he kindly filled me in with all the details. He said she was super down to earth (Ya right) and she tipped him well (that’s all that matters!), and that the whole time he was like ‘You look like KK’, and she pretended not to be until when he dropped them (fat sister too) off she confessed and as he helped her out of the car she said as she turned around so he could have a look at the ass that a lot of plastic surgeons retired from now sipping mojito’s and she said something like “does this look like an ass that would belong to anyone else?”

He laughed and that was it.

Here is a picture of me sitting where the almighty ass sat…with my new fav driver Luis! Thank you Lo for taking care of me and my son…I will always be in debt and grateful for being thrown into your Suburban because you fired a guy!!!KK driver.JPG

In writing this entry  I’ve decided I’m going have to do a part deux (2)…So again if i die young at least I’ve given my kids a once in a lifetime experiences. Which I hope they will carry these moments forever embedded in their minds…knowing that their mother loved and loves them at nauseum….like all mothers do!

Truth be told, I love NYC, so as much as I gone for them it’s also for me … But think about it… if you thought you may  die at any moment….what would you do?!! think about it…and be glad you haven’t had to face something so paralyzing head on. But this is something that hangs on your conscious as a #sexybreastcancer chick. Not only at waking hours, but haunts you in your sleep…

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