st clarity

st clarity

July 4th, 2014 was not a day of ‘St Clarity’ for me. However, it was a day that would begin a long two year journey that would bring me to today.

Today is a day of St Clarity.

I wrote about my first day of radiation called ‘my pony / who run the world girls’. Btw…. Best Lip Sync Battle….EVER, in case you haven’t seen the video you should! ~

That blog article was about how as I sat waiting for my first of 25 radiation treatments, in this quiet waiting area with very tall cathedral ceilings I heard the loud echoing of a women who I thought was either being murdered or having the best orgasm of her life.


Then the women appeared before me and she was practically jumping out of her skin.

“WAAAHOOO…last treatment!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Jesus Christ lady…number #1. this is my first day, #2. Sit down and chill out, you’re making me nervous!!, #3. Get lost – my nerves our now shot! Oh but good luck and I wish you all the best….insert sarcastic smile here 😉

Can someone bring me a Xanax STAT!?

Don’t get me wrong, I get that people celebrate last days of cancer milestones like they just won the lottery but this was a weeeeee bit extra. I mean, staff came from other departments to see what all the fuss was about.

They didn’t blink an eye. They must be used to these exaggerated outbursts of joy.

I wanted to punch her. For God’s sake…this was MY first day ….take a pill and respect others around you who are nervous as f-ck.

Seriously lady, save the celebration for home or go ride a bull to get rid of some of that pent up energy………..hahahahahahaha

I wish I could film these genuine moments of next phases of new beginnings. It would make great reality TV or a comedy show. I’ll call it:

‘Unpredictable Crazy Cancer Chicks: A look at last treatment day celebrations’

On my last day of radiation, the night before I had been up visiting with one of my best friends talking, drinking red wine, and enjoying the short time we had together. She was visiting from Indonesia where she and her husband were posted for 3 years.

So I wasn’t thinking about the next day being my last treatment. I honestly didn’t overthink any of my treatments while they were happening. Until they were all done and the ‘new normal’ phase kicked in. Pure misery would follow. This misery lasted a long time until now.

As I walked out of the radiation room, the two technicians who knew it was my last day wanted to make it special.

I wanted to bolt outta there, a place I never expected or wanted to be EVER again!

Well, not so fast Lady Simone, hold on a minute….

Oh shit! They’re blowing bubbles at me.

The two technicians: “It’s your last treatment day!”…. “good luck….CONGRATULATIONS girrrllll!!!”

Me: “BYE, thank you very much – you guys are truly amazing’. Big smiles.

So there I was trying to run out but instead being congratulated and having bubbles blown my way.

I wonder if the staff had skipped the bubbles for orgasm lady knowing she was having a celebration of her own?

Bye bye radiation…may we never meet again…insert me smashing a fictitious bottle of the most expensive champagne in the world up against the radiation machine.

I googled videos with bubbles, and this is what came up…. This band is from Australia and just played at the Ottawa Blues Fest….amazing musicians, so talented and chill…..and the title is perfect…

Today is a day of St Clarity.

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