heaven

heaven

I’m still patiently waiting for the video footage from my stint on the red carpet at the Stand Up 2 Cancer event in L.A. I spoke to the editor and he said there was a delay because the audio from the microphone wasn’t perfectly matching up to the film footage…or something like that.

Can you imagine if the video didn’t work? In some ways I would be disappointed, obviously, but I would still be semi happy with a Charlie Chaplin version. I mean, I’ll take anything at this point!

Imagine…my first and only (hopefully not) time being a reporter ended up like a silent movie!?

Anyway, change of subject… I went to have two cavities filled the other morning, and as per usual I don’t overthink what I’m about to get into when I have a medical or dental appointment. So I stroll in casually and start talking to the receptionist about this being my last time at their office because my family is switching dental offices.

I feel very conflicted about this because I’ve been going to the same office since I was 12 years old.  When I walk in I feel like Norm in the show Cheers… ~ ‘where everybody knows your naaaaame… and their always glad to caaaame, you wanna be where everybody know your name’… It’s all good I’ll survive and I know I’m welcomed back anytime.

So the dentist came in and I immediately started to pepper him with questions about the needle for the local anesthetic. I’m not scared of needles, I’m actually the opposite of that, for all the poking and prodding from giving birth twice and going through cancer treatments I’m good. BUT, the idea of a needle being poked ~ then pushed into the bone of my lower jaw gives me instant fear *insert my wide eyed expression!

I knew he had once given my daughter nitrous oxide (laughing gas) when she had her first needle, so I asked him “Can I have the laughing gas?”… not expecting him to oblige and then a miracle happened, he said “Yes”.

Holy shit, really?! It can’t be that easy!? So the dental assistant came walking in with a nice large tank of heaven. I say heaven because as it started to take effect I was thinking …. This is okay, this feeling is okay because God created this…this is probably what everyone gets when they walk through the pearly gates after they’ve passed…. a little inhale of relaxationnnn….

*not a picture of me but this was probably my expression.

nitrous-odixe

I was thinking everyone in heaven is sitting around with nitrous oxide machines for eternity… Yup sign me up!

The feeling is numbingly, poetically, floatingly great. At one point he said before the evil needle …is it strong enough? If not, we can make it stronger” Really? Can I marry you now?????

Me: “No, I’m still really nervous more would help I think”

Dentist: “No problem I can turn it up”

Me: “Great thank you”

The dentist who is amazing but super straight continued…

“You should feel your toes tingling like you’ve had a shot”

Me: “A shot of what?”

Dentist: “A shot of tequila or margarita”

Oh really, you’ve obviously never had a drink in your life based on that description…but I’ll forgive you…FYI margarita shooters don’t exist… he must have learnt that analogy in dental school – 101.

Ok I will just say right now… I’m not an addict but I could be if I could find a way to roll this tank down the steps of my dental office and straight into the trunk of my car without being spotted.

Hahahaha look at the middle aged crazy lady stealing laughing gas from her dental office!

I had many thoughts while lying on a 150 degree angle in my early morning high, but I soon realized the reason the dentist was so ‘laissez faire’ about my request for heavenly oxide was because the next thing I knew the needle was being pierced through my gum and lower jaw bone…. Mother of Christ…. Jesus… I felt the liquid move through my nerves to the front of my lower jaw like an electric serge.

It only lasted about 5 seconds but I thanked the universe for my unknowing fortitude in asking for all the help I could get.

So I’m here to say…some woman may write birthing plans, some people strategically plan everything.. I’m just grateful for my spontaneous intuitions which that day provided me with medical intervention (nitrous oxide) to get me through those 5 seconds…

Amen.

2 thoughts on “heaven

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s