take me with you
If you’re curious on how I’ve gotten through the last six years with cancer along with six surgeries then divorce it would take a book to explain it in detail. I’ll say I believe in creating life moments and spreading love.
In a nutshell, during the dark times, getting through the next 10 minutes was extremely challenging. Feeling broken would be an understatement.
I was paralyzed with fear and sadness and these emotions are the roots of all others that cause us pain. I’m here to say YOU are not broken. OMG I think my years of Oprah watching has sunken in but it’s absolutely 1000% true.
Yesterday I got a divorce notice saying that on December 4th my divorce will be final. I thought I was in my feelings last week with the survivor blog entry but today my emotions are heighten to a completely new level. It has been a couple years since we separated and we’ve both moved on but it is the finality of a 19-year relationship that is so so cuttingly raw, and more intensified when you have children together.
I will say one thing, and I preface this because I am still alive, I feel that DIVORCE IS WORSE THAN CANCER. Full stop.
As a cancer patient people treat you like you’re a gentle flower needing soft stroking, you’re put on a pedestal. They call you brave. As a divorcee some people treat you like you contracted Ebola, they’re afraid it will infect them in some way. I’m not mad at that, it’s actually quite normal, people distance themselves from things they can’t process. It is also common with cancer patients as well but divorce is a special kind of isolation.
The fun part is that I moved into a smaller place and just over this past summer I started taking stock of my neighbourhood. I call it Divorce Single Alley!! Any given time you can hear single anthems blaring out windows like Lizzo’s – Truth Hurts, Cardi B’s – Be Careful, Destiny’s Child – Independent Women… you get my point. But there is also the male version as well like Kid Rock’s- Picture feat. Sheryl Crow. I’m not mad at this either because I’ve met some really solid people. Being divorced or single is not a disease – trust me. It’s an opportunity to pivot and create new memories, basically a new life which can be overwhelming for a while but it’s also a form of freedom and peace that no amount of money can buy you.
When I got married I felt like the song in the Purple Rain movie where Prince and Apollonia Kotero ride together on the motorcycle… there was so much hope for the future. Here’s the video…
Today I’m more like DJ Khaled and Rihanna’s – Wild Thoughts which feels so fucking good. I have the best friends and family members to thank because they brought me back to life again. I took time to heal and I’m still healing, probably always will be but I’m now having a blast, just booked my third trip to Barbados and I’m looking forward to a peaceful and exciting future.
So many things are healing for me, humour is at the top of the list, but meeting Dave Chapelle and his amazing entourage….hmmmm HELLO! I didn’t even see his 10 night only show in New York on Broadway, I wish I did but I was with my 14 year old daughter seeing a musical called Tootsie across the street – which was fantastic! After our show was over we went outside and I saw that Dave was doing a stand-up show. Yes I was having major FOMO but I know that if you wait after show some entertainers come out the door and sign autographs, shake hands etc. So I begged my daughter to wait with me so we could meet him. She was so annoyed like any teenager would be but I convinced her that we should stay because Dave is a legend. Explaining to her that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity that she’ll understand when she’s older. She calls this “The Simone Show’ when I get excited for things.
I mean come on, it was beyond my expectations, his people were disarmingly nice and funny while we waited. His head of security asked the growing crowd if they had a good joke to tell and I was like “You’re Dave Chapelle’s head of security you should have the best jokes on rotation dude” to which he laughed. His personal photographer who travels around with him offered my daughter a bottle of water because it was July and hot as hell especially now with over 500 people around us now. I thought this was truly a kind gesture given the status of people he rolls with, he could have ignored everyone trying to talk to him but he didn’t he was kind. And he ended up choosing a photo of Dave and me to put in the Netflix Sticks & Stones special, it’s actually in the Epilogue called The Punch Line. If you blink, you’ll miss it! Ha! This is the picture I took of my TV, imagine sitting at home alone watching Netflix and this pops up? At first I was in shock then I was like shit I’ve never seen myself from that angle before and it looks like my face is melting from age. AND then I was like who cares because this is pretty fucking awesome!
I tell people I made Dave Chapelle laugh because I googled and read while waiting for him to come out that he was in hot water for some jokes he told the night before, and I said to him “Hey Dave – fuck those reviews!”, and he was like “Ya, fuck those reviews” and he giggled! He then stood in front of me for a while… over 5-10 minutes. Yes it was like the heavens opened and light was shining down on us, a dream like feeling. He is so HOT! In really good shape, not the DC from his early days, he’s jacked now in a good way.
If you want to know what he is like in real life – here it is – he’s a humble kind angel and I’ll tell you why and I’ve met lots of celebrities now. You see the girl on my left side in the selfie with the glasses and green hair (loved it!)? While people were screaming and losing their shit to get Dave’s attention she said “Dave do you remember me? I came up to TIFF to see you on the red carpet for A Star is Born movie premiere, and you met me and my mom – we love you!!!”, and he was like “Oh hey hi, yes of course I remember you. Where is your mom at?”. Then she said “she couldn’t come tonight she’s sick in our hotel room” and he said “Oh please tell her I say hi and give her a hug for me”.
Is this sinking in for you?
Dave Chapelle paid special attention to one of his very devoted fans. He validated her, made her feel special, gave her a hug when she asked. I was going to tell them to get a room but hesitated…just kidding!
Blanket statement here but I think most celebrities at his level would have skimmed through the crowd and jumped into their car and just waived to the crowd. Letting the NYPD keep the commoners at a safe distance.
I live for these moments because it gives me energy, like a boost I guess, which is super healing. And trust me I need healing as does everybody on this planet.
Another amazing thing is that my daughter and I met two really cool 27 year old female lawyers who are bff’s and live in different countries but meet up in different cities to hang out together. They’re in the selfie to my right. They were very nice and we keep in touch now. What a gift the universe gave me. I’ll tell you how cool they are – they facetimed me from the American Music Awards last Sunday, showing me the theater and stage while the show went to commercial! Like wow, I just adore nice people like them. I may even travel to visit them, but I’ve warned them I can’t keep up with their vintage channel purse or Fendi trench coat purchases. Like I’ll be in China town getting a knock off – thank you very much.
Lastly, just to age myself a little, okay a lot. When I talk to my kids about liking to meet celebrities because I also met Kerri Russell and Jessie Eisenberg within a 48-hour period in Manhattan, as a joke I call myself a thirsty clout chaser. To which they where like “MOM don’t ever say that!!!!” and I’m like “What I don’t get it?!”. Them “Don’t you know what thirsty means?” and I said “Ya, like desperate”, and they told me that thirsty means horny and to NEVER say that word like EVER again. Well holy shit how am I supposed to keep up with our youth’s language… it’s truly exhausting.