money, money, money ~

I have a dilemma. I guess you could say it’s a good dilemma, one which a lot of people would wish for. Actually, I have two dilemma’s but I’ll start with the first one.

When I was off on sick leave I wasn’t paying into my pension. As a matter of fact since I’ve been back at work in February I haven’t paid back into my pension from when I was off. This may seem like not a big deal, but apparently it makes a huge difference when I retire.

I’m eligible to retire when I’m 62 years old..2032 or 2033.

I’m 43 years old right now, turning 44 in January. This means I have 16-17 years left to work towards retirement.

Here’s the thing, whatever amount that would have to be deducted from my paychecks now to pay it back will make a difference for us monthly. At this point in our lives it’s the most expensive time for us…mortgage, cars, kids activities, on and on…

Since being diagnosed with cancer, I feel less worried about my financial future. I feel like if I survive to attend my retirement party and give a thank you speech…I’ll be one of the lucky ones, so who cares about the money…I want to take advantage of every penny now.

Tough spot to be in? Yes, it is. What would you do? Save every penny for the future or spend like you may not see tomorrow?

Second dilemma ~ I threw my back out while I was getting ready to leave for my son’s hockey tournament in Jay Peak, Vermont last Thursday, so over a week ago.

I had a 90 minute message on the Friday at the resort’s spa hoping it would relieve some of the pain. It didn’t. I was fine with that knowing time should heal the wound.

It’s been 11 days now and the pain has shifted from my tail bone and the general middle back area to my left ass cheek, and now I’m having trouble walking!

Jesus Christ.

Is it pain? Is the bastard cancer coming back? Is it old age? …. you know how I threw my back out? …. I coughed really hard…that’s it…

I had a full body bone scan in April that was clear…great, but that was 8 months ago…do I need to go back for another one?

#sexybreastcancer can rear it’s ugly head at anytime…shit…fuck…it’s gotta be muscle relatedl!!

Is my ass too fat or my bones too weakened? I feel like I did a thousand squats on my left side only.

See why money doesn’t mean a thing when you presently have worse worries…

boobs ~

Dear blog followers, friends, neighbours, family, strangers…everyone…I’m asking you to take 3 minutes out of your day to help the Ottawa Hospital Foundation which will donate directly to Ottawa’s new Breast Health Centre.

The Ottawa Hospital Breast Health Centre was everything to me when I was diagnosed with #sexybreastcancer and still is…come to think of it, when I was breast feeding my daughter 11 years ago I had cancer scare. I had found a lump in my right breast that I had biopsied because there was concern that it may be a malignant lump…turned out to be thick breast milk….gross!

Anyway, if you ever find yourself or someone you know going for a test or anything that may follow, you will be grateful for this GEM of a place. I know I was there…I’ve also been there with friends who had appointments or other breast cancer patients…it truly is a wonderful and comforting place to be in the face of darkness.

Here is what I’ve been asked to do ~ so please share the information and link below! It will make a huge difference for our community as the incidence of breast cancer is on the rise ~ BIG TIME!:

Avon is asking Canadians to upload their selfies to www.newfaceofavon.ca and for every photo uploaded, Avon will donate $1 to a Breast Cancer Charity of the contestant’s choice from a drop-down menu of 16 registered Canadian charities, which includes The Ottawa Hospital Foundation (funds will be directed to the Breast Health Center). It only takes a few minutes and will raise a dollar for each entry submitted (you can only enter once). We are asking you to enter the contest and share and promote it with your friends, family and contacts. The more selfies submitted the more funds raised for TOHF!

Here’s what you need to do…super easy:

1 – Go to http://www.newfaceofavon.ca/upload.php

2 – Select a photo of yourself to upload and click next

3 – Enter your contact information and click next

4 – Select the Ottawa Hospital Foundation from the drop down menu and click submit!

Thanks so much, very appreciated,

xo,
Simone

PS…one from the archives…”You’ve gotta have boobs”…imagine dancing in a carpeted, wood paneled living room back in the day to this song…the songs I find on youtube OMG 😉

check on it ~

“You can look at it as long as you don’t GRAB IT”

I’ve quoted Queen Bee in spirit of the American elections this week. It’s self explanatory if you don’t get it.

We as Canadians will be waking up to a different world on Wednesday, November 9th – regardless of which way it goes. Apparently on Monday night, bars all over the world are going to be packed with people watching this shit show, that I call entertainment, as it unfolds late into the night. I for one will be glued to my TV since I’ve watched all three debates, therefore I have to see the finale!

My kids had great outfits this Halloween. My daughter was Harley  Quinn from Suicide Squad, and my son was Donald Trump in a prisoners outfit. The best part is when people opened the door to give out candy he said “vote Trump!” and they all broke out laughing!

November is not traditionally a very good month for me. November for some reason has always tested me. Why? Many reasons but the main one is #sexybreastcancer…November 14, 2013 to be exact. I’m hoping to change up my luck…so I’ll tell you two stories, one that happened yesterday, the other one happened last week.

You can be the judge if you think the first one is good…the second was awesome!

Yesterday I went to see my plastic surgeon because I’ve been unhappy with my left tit. It looks like a shriveled up potato…like the kind people stuff nylons with to make a face…here’s a visual:

It obviously doesn’t look exactly like that but close if you minus out the nose and the eye and turn it sideways.

Don’t laugh…it’s the truth – no sarcasm here! But it’s part of the recovery of breast cancer treatment. Getting my ovaries removed accelerated weight gain which in turn, turned my beautiful new ‘boob’ into a potato head.

The good news ~ I will have it fixed….FAT GRAFTING aka LIPOSUCTION from my stomach to correct Mr. Potato Head.

Now I know other cancer patients may be jealous…but don’t be I still will have no feeling and will have to do more surgery down the road.

I just pray to God and the universe that the doctor while sucking out fat form my stomach will keep going and suck out all areas of unwanted cellulite….hahaha…

Wish me luck! It may take a while and there is a long list of #sexybreastcancer women ahead of me.

Second story…

I was invited as a guest speaker to speak to a group of women at the Ottawa chapter of an organization called Zonta Club of Ottawa last Wednesday night. It is part of a larger organization called Zonta International.

Here is their mission and vision statement:

NEVER GIVE UP!

The other two things that kept me going but I’m not sure if you would call it a mantra is rest, and of course a good book or a great song.

I could be feeling like complete shit but if I put on a favourite song,  I’d be in a better mood or a good head space instantaneously.

should i stay or should I go

“Clear minds ~ Full hearts ~ Can’t lose”, if you don’t know this quote it’s because you haven’t watched the TV series Friday Night Lights. My friend told me today she only has two episodes left to watch. My heart goes out to her because I remember the feeling knowing it was the end. Seven seasons of greatness. One of the best shows I’ve ever seen, I fell in love with these characters. Sorry Wendy, my heart bleeds for you… but you will recover, I promise 😦

What am I binge (love that word!) watching on Netflix right now???… STRANGER THINGS….and it’s oh so good. There is only 8 episodes and I’m half way through, and I know Netflix has renewed it for a second season Yay! These shows are my happy place, a place I know will only get better. Netflix has so many great shows I can’t keep up now with working full time. Which reminds me I saw the funniest video a colleague sent me the other day, it’s priceless…you have to watch it, it’s only 6 minutes…

“Lean in, well I don’t wanna lean in, I wanna lie down!” THE BEST!

Yup, I’m dumb and I don’t wanna do anything but binge watch Netflix. Period. Especially shows which are set in the 80s starring Winona Ryder and that have an awesome soundtrack.

I especially think that cancer survivors should not have to work ever again if they choose not to. Cancer treatments suck the life out of you. I don’t know how I accomplish things every day. It’s a mystery to me.

The daily grind is real, the daily grind is fulfilling, the daily grind is good to keep us going and contribute to society, but the daily grind is overrated too…just ask the women walking around all day in lululemon’s sipping Venti lattes 😉

Happy Friday!

the climb ~

Please have a read of this informative article that was published on notable.ca and yes, little old me was featured in it!!….so cool and I wanted to share with my readers.

http://notable.ca/this-is-how-it-really-feels-to-lose-your-breasts/

Thank you notable.ca for the writing such an important article for us #sexybreastcancer ladies…and for anyone who wants to know what it’s like to have a double mastectomy. Story telling is so important for everyone affected by this disease.

someone like you ~

The best part of the trip was going with my bff Wendy…love you girl xoxo I wish everyone could know Wendy…she is the bomb…and I’m starting to identify with Wendy as my sister from another mister (inside joke)….:)

Here’s the video from that MTV performance…I dedicate this you my friend…thanks for always having my back xo….

heaven

I’m still patiently waiting for the video footage from my stint on the red carpet at the Stand Up 2 Cancer event in L.A. I spoke to the editor and he said there was a delay because the audio from the microphone wasn’t perfectly matching up to the film footage…or something like that.

Can you imagine if the video didn’t work? In some ways I would be disappointed, obviously, but I would still be semi happy with a Charlie Chaplin version. I mean, I’ll take anything at this point!

Imagine…my first and only (hopefully not) time being a reporter ended up like a silent movie!?

Anyway, change of subject… I went to have two cavities filled the other morning, and as per usual I don’t overthink what I’m about to get into when I have a medical or dental appointment. So I stroll in casually and start talking to the receptionist about this being my last time at their office because my family is switching dental offices.

I feel very conflicted about this because I’ve been going to the same office since I was 12 years old.  When I walk in I feel like Norm in the show Cheers… ~ ‘where everybody knows your naaaaame… and their always glad to caaaame, you wanna be where everybody know your name’… It’s all good I’ll survive and I know I’m welcomed back anytime.

So the dentist came in and I immediately started to pepper him with questions about the needle for the local anesthetic. I’m not scared of needles, I’m actually the opposite of that, for all the poking and prodding from giving birth twice and going through cancer treatments I’m good. BUT, the idea of a needle being poked ~ then pushed into the bone of my lower jaw gives me instant fear *insert my wide eyed expression!

I knew he had once given my daughter nitrous oxide (laughing gas) when she had her first needle, so I asked him “Can I have the laughing gas?”… not expecting him to oblige and then a miracle happened, he said “Yes”.

Holy shit, really?! It can’t be that easy!? So the dental assistant came walking in with a nice large tank of heaven. I say heaven because as it started to take effect I was thinking …. This is okay, this feeling is okay because God created this…this is probably what everyone gets when they walk through the pearly gates after they’ve passed…. a little inhale of relaxationnnn….

*not a picture of me but this was probably my expression.

I was thinking everyone in heaven is sitting around with nitrous oxide machines for eternity… Yup sign me up!

The feeling is numbingly, poetically, floatingly great. At one point he said before the evil needle …is it strong enough? If not, we can make it stronger” Really? Can I marry you now?????

Me: “No, I’m still really nervous more would help I think”

Dentist: “No problem I can turn it up”

Me: “Great thank you”

The dentist who is amazing but super straight continued…

“You should feel your toes tingling like you’ve had a shot”

Me: “A shot of what?”

Dentist: “A shot of tequila or margarita”

Oh really, you’ve obviously never had a drink in your life based on that description…but I’ll forgive you…FYI margarita shooters don’t exist… he must have learnt that analogy in dental school – 101.

Ok I will just say right now… I’m not an addict but I could be if I could find a way to roll this tank down the steps of my dental office and straight into the trunk of my car without being spotted.

Hahahaha look at the middle aged crazy lady stealing laughing gas from her dental office!

I had many thoughts while lying on a 150 degree angle in my early morning high, but I soon realized the reason the dentist was so ‘laissez faire’ about my request for heavenly oxide was because the next thing I knew the needle was being pierced through my gum and lower jaw bone…. Mother of Christ…. Jesus… I felt the liquid move through my nerves to the front of my lower jaw like an electric serge.

It only lasted about 5 seconds but I thanked the universe for my unknowing fortitude in asking for all the help I could get.

So I’m here to say…some woman may write birthing plans, some people strategically plan everything.. I’m just grateful for my spontaneous intuitions which that day provided me with medical intervention (nitrous oxide) to get me through those 5 seconds…

Amen.